The days are long... the nights longer. One question sears my whole being from one long day .. one long night ... to the next ... how can I get my ex back? I awake in the morning and the only thing that drags me out of bed is knowing I am needed at work. At times that does not even matter. The energy to move is gone .. just gone.
The breakup was about nothing ... but was a culmination of everything .. yet my ex was my world. Without her I died .. inside and out.
Everything caused pain.. just everything .. the radio, TV, shopping ... sports, kids, songs. After being together so long ... there was not a thing that did not reflect her.
My life became one continuous sll consuming thought...how could I get my ex back?
I became desperate .. started to call. She hung up on me .. did not want to see me. I called more. Soon I was driving by her apartment at any time of the day or night ... parking there .. a safe distance away .. wanting to see her .. afraid to see her in case she was with someone else.
I emailed. I sent text messages. I begged and pleaded. I cried. I made an utter complete disastrous fool of myself and know I re-affirmed everything in her mind that was telling her she did the right thing .. ending it all once and for all.... for LOOK at the idiot now!
Then ... just as I knew there would be nothing to stop the ache inside of me .. before I was ready to resign myself to the fact that it would be a part of me forever .. before I made such a complete fool of myself stalking that I was arrested ... something dropped in my life like magic.
A trusted friend of mine .. a very much trusted friend of mine .. told me about a book that would in most liklihood help me. "It will at least stop you from behaving like such an idiot"... he told me. What could I say? He practically shoved it down my throat.. or into my hands .. to read.
With the first chapter... I was helped. I recognized instantly that fool I was becoming.. had become... and did some mighty powerful back pedalling to fix it.
From that point on.. I was guided step by step .. not knowing of course what the end result would be. All I knew was there was no way I could go on living like this .. just as I knew there was no way the hole in me could ever get fixed... ready to accept the fact I would just have to learn to live with it.. but HOW???
When I saw how quickly the quidance in the book made me step back from what I was doing that was so destructive to both my ex and myself .. I just had to keep reading.
Suffice it to say ... the long endless aching days and nights that were filled with nothing but hopeless lonliness.... are now filled with something more powerful than I could have ever known existed.
My ex and I are back together. The bond between us now is something I just know cannot be broken... bent again maybe... and pounded on.. but .. never broken.
That book was worth gold.... and beyond.
If you are desperately in need of help as I was.. or know of someone who is .. point them to the book. It's what I was pointed to and I would point anyone and everyone who was feeling as I was in that direction a thousand times over .. and the mere forty bucks I spent for the book will never be regretted.
Not ever.
It's how I got my ex back.
